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Thighs Thinner | Get Your Thighs Thinner
Dec/09
i stayed home from work today. i just can’t deal.
i’m tired and scared.
i’m also off my thyroid meds again which just makes me crazydepressed and without logic. i’m even more emotional and sensitive to others and it’s a constant fight inside myself to stop feeling/acting on it.
it seems like an endless hamster wheel i’m on.
it’s difficult not to assume the worst right now considering that i’ve had the same result each time there’s been a discrepancy in the results of my scans and the bloodwork. cancer.
of course i don’t know this yet but i find it hard to think it’s different this time.
i can’t tell my mom about it either. she’s pretty stressed dealing with her husband’s illness and it would only break her to know i might be sick again/still.
my doctor has always told me that i’ve been through a lot with this and i tell her no, it’s really nothing. but she insists it’s true.
today, i agree with her. i admit that despite not hurting in my body with it, i hurt in my mind. there is nothing i can do to stop this from happening and i feel helpless and weak as i’m a control freak. i’ve tried really hard to go with the flow on this and so far i’ve been pretty successful but i think i’ve reached my breaking point.
You know what I really want right now? a good, decent man to wrap his arms around me and say, “Karen, honey, I love you and you’re going to be ok.” and that’s the truth.
but there is no man in my life so i have to do this for myself.
it can really suck to be without the thing you want the most.
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